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type of Artist*

*DISCLAIMER 

ALL STATEMENTS AND “FACTS” FROM HERE ON, ON THIS WEBSITE—EVEN THOSE CLAIMING TO BE REAL—ARE ENTIRELY FICTIONAL. ALL CELEBRITY VOICES ARE IMPERSONATED…..POORLY. THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND DUE TO ITS CONTENT, IT SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE. 

TAKE WITH A PINT OF SALT. 

In this part of the workshop you will use the knowledge you gained about art terminology to figure out what type of artist you will be and the processes of working and daily life. 

1. Take our Introductory Quiz 

What type of artist are you and how would you react? 

Technical Issues with Quiz - Screenshots below

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2. Artist Day Schedule

Have a look at our example. This is a schedule of what a typical day in the life of the art looks like based on 4 artists. 

 

​A Day in the Life of an Artist

 

‘MORNING’ 

Get out of bed after 12pm 

Have a coffee 

Have a cry  

Have a breakdown  

Change your practice  

 

ACTUAL AFTERNOON  

Make a YouTube channel  

Watch it fail  

 

Let people throw money at you  

Be a bottomless investment  

  

Wipe your tears with instant noodles to hydrate them because you cant afford water

Eat the noodles 

 

Make Art  

Pretend you’re happy with it  

 

Look on your friends with envy 

Ask for them to buy you alcohol and food

 

“what do you actually do?” 

“how do you pay your rent?” 

 

Get into exceeding amounts of debt  

 

NIGHTIME  

Stay up contemplating how the existential dread of being alive is weighing you down  

​

Pass out on the bed face down 

Sleep  

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3. Choose Which Type of Artist You Want to Be 

Below are 5 recipes for interventions based on a type of artist. 

Pick at least one, complete it and upload your results below. 

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How to be Anti-Artist  

Sign your own Toilet 

  1. Locate a toilet 

  2. Place and attach a sticky note, strip of masking tape or piece of paper 

  3. Sign your name as extravagantly as possible  

  4. Photograph and post results  

 

Reference: Marcel Duchamp 

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How to be Anarchist Artist 

Buy a gorilla mask – Draw a gorilla mask 

 

  1. Trace/draw or print the provided mask  

  2. Wear it 

 

Reference: Gorilla Girls 

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How to be a Self-Obsessed Artist   

Make your own self portrait  

  1.  Look at yourself in the mirror 

  2. Admire what you see  

  3. Draw yourself 

  4. Take a photograph of yourself 

  5. Give it a title  

  6. Upload and post results  

 

Reference: Andy Warhol  

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How to be Overly Conceptual 

Create your own art film  

  1. Go into your fridge 

  2. Find some vegetables 

  3. Set up phone or camera next to sink 

  4. Record  

  5. Wash vegetables  

  6. Upload and post results 

 

Reference: Joseph Beuys 

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Choose File

How to be a commercial Artist 

Cut a shark in half 

  1. Draw a shark/trace/print off the shark provided and cut the shark in half   

  2. Place in a glass of water 

  3. Photograph and post results  

 

Reference: Damien Hirst 

Upload your results here!

​

4. Create your own Recipe  

Below is an image of Damien Hirst's artwork entitled The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living. This is the artist and artwork we used for inspiration to create the "How to be a Commercial Artist" recipe. 

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How to be a commercial Artist 

Cut a shark in half 

  1. Draw a shark/trace/print off the shark provided and cut the shark in half   

  2. Place in a glass of water 

  3. Photograph and post results  

​

Based on this we would like you to come up with your own recipe for an X Artist and submit your results in the form below. 

How to be a x Artist

Thanks for submitting!

5. Some Questions you'll have to answer when you're an Artist...

Consider and reflect on these commonly asked questions... How would you respond?

For added effectiveness please read in a high-pitched condescending voice.

​

  • How do you make money with that? 

  • So, what will you end up doing after this fails? 

  • Oh, I didn’t realise that was an actual course the university offered 

  • Can you draw me? 

  • That’s not an actual job 

  • So, your parents are rich huh? 

  • What will you do after your hobby? 

  • Do you just mess around with paint all day then? 

  • You’re not actually doing research you know? 

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OPTIONAL

Fill out this contact form if you found a good reply we could use!

Thanks for submitting!

6. Your Typical Artist Work Day

Considering all the reflections you have made and responses you have given, upload your own artist schedule of what a typical day would look like!

Choose File

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